Often and Loudly

• They communicate, early and often, about what they’re thinking and feeling, and they give you chances to do the same.
• They introduce you to their friends and want to meet your friends.
• They have a rich life outside of you. It can be many different things—job, hobby, friends, family—but they have something that makes them engaged and energized and has nothing to do with you.
• They’re excited by the things that make you different, not just the things that make you conventionally attractive.
• They ask you for your opinion and advice as often as they offer theirs. 
• They’re willing to do un-fun, un-sexy stuff with you; when you need someone to hold your hand in the ER or take you to the airport at rush hour, they’re there for you.
• When talking about previous relationships that didn’t work out, they admit fault and regret.
• They always ask you before making a decision that affects you, whether it’s trivial like “where to sit in the theater” or major like “whether to have sex tonight.”
• They respect your decisions and emotions even when you can’t “logically” explain them.
• You feel safe disagreeing with them, calling them out when they screw up, or telling them you don’t want to do something with them.
• They set boundaries with you sometimes, and they do it in a matter-of-fact, respectful way.